I asked my wonderful husband, J, if he had anything to say about Father’s Day for a not-yet-dad ( and one who has so recently lost his own father). He’s not a writer, but we pulled together a short post for today, a little insight into the elusive male mind. Comments are appreciated- J needs a confidence boost if I’m ever going to get him to share again.
Today’s a tough one for me. It makes me sad, knowing that my dad will never meet our kids. I’m still trying to figure out what this whole day means for me. I haven’t really processed it for myself, let alone thought about how to tell all of you.
I look around and see people interacting with their kids, and it reminds me how much I want to be a dad. I want a kid badly, and it’s frustrating that after all this time we still don’t have one, but I also know that God has a plan, and he must have something better for us right now.
AlleyRose asked me how I felt during a typical cycle. I’m a guy, I don’t really have a clue. A cycle hurts most because I have to watch her hurting, not because we don’t have a kid. It’s frustrating, not understanding what your wife is feeling. I’m not really sure what to say.
Ovulation time, to me, means a whole lot of sex. That’s about it, I’m not really hung up on the details of it. The less information I know, the better.
The waiting period makes me a little anxious to have an answer, one way or another, whether A is pregnant or not. Then I’m less anxious, because she gets some pretty crazy PMS mood swings. Is that a pregnancy symptom? Then when she does get her period, I’m sad…but more because she’s so upset, and less because she’s not pregnant.
I’m not going to get it, I know that. But I can be here, I can be supportive, and I can eat all the baking that A makes. I’m putting on baby weight and we don’t even have a baby.
Happy Fathers Day, from the wannabe father.