Things I Never Thought I’d Say

Things I Thought I’d Never Say

  1. The words “cervical mucus”. Just think about that. Let it sink in. Gross!
  2. So, I was researching baby-making positions online, and...” Believe it or not, this is a regularly-Googled item in the TTC-world. I just never thought I’d be the one adding to those search terms.
  3. “I need Tylenol, not Advil. I’m in my two week wait.” Never thought I’d let the possibility of a baby get in the way of my lovely, strong drugs.
  4. “I’m not sure I want an epidural…” I hate pain. I’m not good with needles, but I HATE pain. So when did this vague idea of having a natural birth pop into my head?
  5. I’m ovulating. When can you get home?” How romantic.
  6. I’d happily vomit every morning if it meant I was pregnant.” I also hate vomiting, and can’t remember the last time I threw up. But it would be worth it.
  7. Carb-free diet? No problem.” I love carbs. Turn your attention to the title of this blog – I LOVE carbs. But since insulin-resistant me needs to drop some serious poundage, here we go.
  8. I’ll have decaf, please.” Hahahahahahahaha. That’s my grad-school self turning blue in the face and choking on her laughter. DECAF? What’s even the point?
  9. Why yes, I am buying pregnancy tests, chocolate and tampons at the same time.” Poor, confused, teenaged-male cashier at Shoppers. He will never regain that innocence.
  10.  “I was 12DPO, nearly at the end of my TWW, when I felt AF coming on – so I refused to BD with DH.” Aren’t acronyms fun? The first time I signed on to the TTC boards, I was dazed and confused, and swore I’d never nonchalantly refer to having sex for baby-making purposes as “BD-ing” (babydancing). I still don’t; I think its horrible. But its an acronym that I’m sure has slipped out once or twice.

What have you uttered in the past (insert number) months that you never thought you’d say? Have you mentally scarred anyone – intentionally or otherwise?

9 thoughts on “Things I Never Thought I’d Say

  1. LOL. This is a *fantastic* list.

    Regarding the natural birth thing – I am totally obsessed. Mostly because I am way less scared of the pain of childbirth than I am of the epi needle, the catheter, the forced lying down and fetal monitoring…

  2. “Remind me to pick up some robitussin. It’s supposed to increase cervical fluid.” And the throwing up thing is spot on! I hate it, but I try to not complain because it’s proof that baby’s hanging out and that’s good.

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