It’s been two weeks since the last post, which means the “two” week wait is nearly over. I’m sitting here, staring at a triphastic chart with some awesome looking signs and symptoms, with a box of Clearblue tests in my lap. I’m 15 DPO, definitely not too early to test, and yet for some reason, I haven’t run upstairs and tested yet. Why?
This week was insane at work. We had to fire the only other full time staff member (which, while a blessing on one hand, means that I’m the only full-timer left). This turned into a conversation about how there was no way I could get pregnant, EVER (my bosses don’t know that we’re TTC), and I needed to stay as far away from J as possible. So, instantly, something I’ve wanted for so long is going to be affected by a job I don’t even love that much.
I know what you’re saying. You’re saying “Forget about them, its your life, and whatever happens, they have no say in it.” Or maybe you’re saying “Screw them, get knocked up and ditch the place.” Both are valid sentiments. Neither account for the fact that I am a life-long pushover, absolutely terrified of upsetting other people. I’m kind of worried that when I finally have to tell them that I’m pregnant, they’ll be mad – I don’t think I could handle someone reacting so negatively to something I’ve wanted for so long.
On the other hand, it IS my life, right? And if I get pregnant, they’ll have nine months warning. That’s wayyyy longer than the requisite two weeks notice. And its something we’ve been trying for for so long.
Screw it. Here I go. I’ll post back with results, unless I need a pint of icecream. Then I’ll post back with a sick stomach AND results.